8 Essential Tips On How To Be A Classy Drunk

2. Martini Glasses Are Not Your Friend

Martini glasses take a little more skill and expertise to achieve, so I’d steer clear of those completely. This type of cocktail glass seems to produce what many call “hole-in-the-lip” syndrome. It’s a very serious condition that seems to get worse with increased alcohol consumption.

8 Essential Tips On How To Be A Classy Drunk

3. Drink Wine (just for appearances)

Some people may think that drinking wine will give you the illusion of being elegant or sophisticated. They are absolutely right. It does. You will look superior to all of the other boozers in the bar. They will think you are cultured and refined, incapable of becoming stupid or sloshed. They are obviously wrong about your character, but you are only going for appearances here, therefor creating this illusion is really all that matters.

If you really want to impress, just order something off of the wine menu that is hard to pronounce (perhaps something Italian or French?). Even if you don’t pronounce it correctly, if you say it with poise and confidence, they will only be able to assume that you did. Now, with that said, don’t forget tip#1: Unless you’re wearing dark clothing, order white wine. But, not Moscato. Please do not order Moscato.

8 Essential Tips On How To Be A Classy Drunk

4. Keep Your Words To A Minimum

If you do start to find yourself with that intoxicated feeling, chances are, your brain-to-mouth filter is not functioning properly, so consider keeping your words to a minimum. Also, only use words that you have used frequently in the past; you should be able to say these words without as much of a slur. Whatever you do, just don’t try to sound too smart. Use phrases like “yes, please”, “excuse me” or “thank you” often. Your kindness and charm will distract people from the fact that you’re hammered.

8 Essential Tips On How To Be A Classy Drunk

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