8 Essential Tips On How To Be A Classy Drunk

5. Only Pee In A Toilet

Although I didn’t mention this first, this is probably one of the more important rules of being drunk: only pee in a toilet. Yes, you heard me. Unless you are wearing an adult diaper (this is another issue for another post), any other area that seems like an acceptable option at the time, probably isn’t. You don’t have the coordination needed to master peeing in a bottle or a shrub, no matter how good you think you can do this without exposing your bush or peeing on yourself. Always be aware of where the closest and most convenient bathroom of your own gender is located. (There may be some instances where a sink may be used as a toilet, but these circumstances are very rare, so use your best judgement.)

8 Essential Tips On How To Be A Classy Drunk

6. Do NOT Run

Unless you are being chased down by a large animal, or worse, a police
officer, do NOT run. Walking has worked for centuries in getting humans to
their destination. There really isn’t a need to do anything at a fast pace
when you are trashed. Doing so only increases your chances of falling. I
have friends who are famous for the scars on their knees, and it’s almost
always because of the unnecessary pace in which they think their feet must
move.

8 Essential Tips On How To Be A Classy Drunk

7. Eat Food

Duh, right!? I’m sure you already know that eating will slow down the rate
at which your body absorbs all of that alcohol. Yes, this seems to
completely defeat the purpose, but it will help you in a bind, like when
you think you may be leaving the “classy drunk” stage and headed towards
offensive territory.

8 Essential Tips On How To Be A Classy Drunk

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